I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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