I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
