I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
