took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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