I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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