I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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