Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
