I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
