I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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