its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
