Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
