My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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