we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
