i think i have two assholes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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