Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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