I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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