I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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