Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Jlin67 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.

Fav 4 1297 2430
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

Fav 5 1876 1138
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(914): View more from New York

The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.

Fav 5 2174 817
share tweet
(515): View more from Iowa

i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.

Fav 7 1077 3088
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?

(1-708): View more from Illinois

Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.

Fav 14 1595 892
share tweet
(971): View more from Oregon

you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying

Fav 8 1898 770
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.

Fav 5 1629 665
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.

Fav 1 280 165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor

Fav 0 44 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT