You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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