Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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