Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorry my hands just texted you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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