I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
