brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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