go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
