his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
