I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
