..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As shirtless as possible
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
