In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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