if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We were destined to go to rehab together
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
