I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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