I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dear god my vagina.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
