Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
