dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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