Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
