How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
