Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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