Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
