Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
