Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
