Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
