Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
