Apparently you make a good broom.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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