So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
