Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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