Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
