I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
