And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
