i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
