You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
