Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
